Gender-based violence – opening the doors for sharing, healing and changing

“Sexual, racial, gender violence and other forms of discrimination and violence in a culture cannot be eliminated without changing culture.” – Charlotte Bunch

This month South Africa started its 16-days of activism for no violence against women and children campaign. “As South Africa grapples with the pandemic of Gender-Based Violence (GBV), Kids Haven is responding to the need to educate and support those in our communities exposed and affected by GBV. We have identified communities where GBV is most prevalent and targeted our efforts into these areas through workshops, counselling and education,” says Sam Mokgopha, CEO of Kids Haven. “The topic is now included in our youth skills programme. Our three pillars of care, Precare, Incare and Aftercare, have integrated GBV programmes as a response to the country’s need, as we consider this to be a serious issue.”

Workshops run this month with our boys and girls revealed many interesting ideas and misconceptions around GBV. Annie Maboea, the workshop facilitator at Kids Haven, says the boys have been looking at gender, power, violence and other related topics. “Most of the boys in the group have witnessed mob justice and many are struggling to process what they have seen. They see domestic violence as gender-based violence because its mostly fathers who beat mums and children. We have also raised traditional practices and cultural violence – unpacking these ideas with the boys,” she says.

Annie says the workshops are crucial for these young people and are making a difference. “At the end of each session we ask them what their key takeaways are and it’s so encouraging to hear their responses.”

Here are a few of the boys’ learnings from the last session:

• Safety comes first, violence is not acceptable
• Do not sleep around
• I have a right to say “NO”
• Not to take open drinks from strangers, to avoid being raped
• Listen and stop when your partner says no
• Intimate partner violence is not good

“We believe we can influence change in our communities through these young people and break the cycle of abuse. We appreciate all the support we get from donors so we can continue with these workshops – educating our children, young adults and community members,” says Annie.

If you can help in any way, whether it be through a monetary donation, resources or skills and knowledge sharing, please get in touch with Kids Haven – hello@kidshaven.co.za

Celebrating children

We celebrated National Children’s Day in November and want to honour the beautiful children in our care. These children are resilient, kind, compassionate, funny and full of character. Many come from living on the streets and have encountered neglect, physical, sexual and emotional abuse, malnutrition and abandonment. We are so proud of how many of them have walked a journey of healing with us. “We long for a day when all children are safe and loved in their homes but until then there needs to be a safe haven for children. That is what we are. Protect, care and educate – these three words lie at the heart of Kids Haven’s Incare Pillar of Care,” says CEO of Kids Haven, Sam Mokgopha.

The Kids Haven Village offers residential care for 103 girls (aged between 2 and 18 years old) and young boys (aged between 2 and 12 years old). The Kids Haven Centre can accommodate 84 adolescent boys (aged between 13 and 18 years old).  “This pillar of care supports family reunification and encourages families to connect with their children while they stay at Kids Haven. Social workers and childcare workers provide for the day-to-day care of the children. Older children participate in the Care Leavers programme while in residence to intentionally prepare to leave Kids Haven when they return to their families or exit anytime between the ages of 18 and 23 years,” explains Sam.

Help us close the gap

Kids Haven receives an annual grant from the Department of Social Development to cover the basic care of the children. It does not cover all the costs of Incare and must be used according to the Department’s template for expenditure. The DSD grant amounts to R3 906 per child monthly, whereas actual expenditure reflects the cost of R6 296 a month per child – leaving a gap of R2 390 per month per child that Kids Haven must cover. This is the gap resulting from spending on school, sports, social workers, security, and maintenance.

Please help us cover this gap by donating now. We appreciate you!

A constant in a child’s life

Bono (not his real name) came into care because he was too old to move into the GBV shelter with his mum. He was happy to be in a safe space and out of the crazy that had been his life until then. Five years later, he remains safe and well cared for but not yet reunited. Mum has moved around – here, there, back here, not to be found, here again, then there. Promises of visits, a visit, more missed visits. A father. In another province. a phone call, a possible visit, no response. An uncle. Keen to visit, but family arguments derail the plan.

There is never only ONE thing, there is a constant up and down but Kids Haven must stay constant. Safe. Consistent. Care.